When I was growing up as a little girl, I used to wonder why people make eye contacts. I found it weird. What I found the weirdest then was the reaction after the eye contact with another person is made. And I’m not just talking about another random person here. I mean the ‘opposite sex’. I often thought “What was that for?”I would later find that that ‘reaction’ was the after-effect of a connection or chemisty.
I grew up as a sort of straight-shooter kind of person who wanted to be independent. I wasn’t into boys either. I was more interested in reading, writing and doing girly stuffs. I watched my sisters date different guys on and off. The roller-coaster it put them through reinforced it in me then that I didn’t need a ‘boyfriend’ at that age. What age are we talking about here? Around age 16-18. Yes that’s right.
My sisters and their friends gossiped a lot too..about boys. They would talk about how some boys broke their heart, how some boys were just not up to their level, how some boys were so goodlooking, how some boys were not…so goodlooking, how some boys made them swoon, how some boys made them cringe. On and on and on. It was tiring for me to be around where they used to gossip. I used to wonder what they derived in those small talks.
Back to making eye contacts. When I was in my late teens, It dawned on me why people (the opposite sexes) make eye contacts. Usually when I make eye contact with people (either sex), it was always neutral. Nothing “wooow” or “meeeh”. Well if it was a really attractive guy, I don’t usually go “wooow” to his face. I can kind of admire him with my ‘neutral face’ put on, or glance at him when he’s walked by.
Generally speaking I’m that kind of person. I didn’t really buy into the eye contact thing in a big way even though I have come to realize its important. In every area of life. In jobs situations, with people, friends, acquaintances etc. I won’t go into details on those. I am specifically about the eye contact opposite sexes make with each other.
So when a guy walks towards me and his eyes light up when he sees me. I know without a shadow of a doubt that he likes what he sees. (I hope so). Even if his eyes do not light up, making eye contact with him, something will register that tells me he finds me ‘attractive’ or ‘interesting just by looking at me.
Making eye contact sparks a connection that is unexplainable. Its an internal connection. I’m not talking about any eye contact. But you will know when some eye contacts spark something within you. Its called chemistry. I bet most men and women have felt that before.
What do you do if you are a guy who made eye contact with a girl, and you felt that she responded positively, and you really liked what you saw? Would you let her walk away, and at the end of the day you end up kicking yourself and wished you’d said something. If you feel she might like you and something registered in the eye contact, definitely approach her. There is no harm in that at all.
If you are wondering what to say, starters and conversation? That’s a topic for another day. But the most important thing is for you to be yourself, be casual, be friendly, and don’t use any ‘cringeworthy’ pick up lines. This isn’t about picking someone up. This is about making a true connection with someone. You don’t want to come across as “eeewww”.
From there, things will fall into place naturally. “Hi” is a good starter. Or you could compliment something about her. Her eyes, her dress (“nice dress”), her shoes etc. just a casual compliment. If she likes you, she will flow with your compliment and the conversation will move on from there.
For women/girls, we usually feel the guy should approach first. But I say if you feel a spark or connection by the eye contact, there is no harm in approaching a man. What you do after the approach is what matters, not so much the approach itself. You are approaching him as a confident woman who likes what she sees. So say hi, compliment him as well and be your true self, no fakeness. If he truly likes you, there will be a date after that.
You definitely can’t approach everyone you make eye contact, or felt a spark with. Like I mentioned earlier, there are some eye contacts that spark something within. They are special and are one of a kind. You will know when it happens if it hasn’t happened to you yet. If it does happen, don’t let it go, because you may end up saying “wish I did something!”
Eye contacts are special. Don’t be shy. SMILE (most importantly). Be friendly. Be warm.
Author: Rachael For Kemmy